i just had this weird dream. dreamt of my ex-classmates from maris stella, well feels like a sign for death.
anyway, my roommate got me a ipod nano! hahaha. well, a gift of course out of the blue. its the present called " thanks for being my roommmate ". haha very nice of him, of course. hahaha.
im gonna go to LA later with jeff. i gotta thank jeffry for accompanying me to go to LA to look at the cars. i really appreciate that. maybe i'll stay a while longer, maybe 2 or 3 days. haha visit prasetyo and his family in their new house in LA. that guy has been constantly mocked by others, ( even the pple in LA ) for being too young. hahaha, what a childish face. HAHAHA.
oh well, i look forward to this chilling trip with me and jeff only. hope i can come back with a new car. well.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Sunday, June 25, 2006
went to look at cars yesterday, test drive this c230 kompressor mercedes, man the ride was great. but the price wasnt. well, i offered him my price and he still refused to step down the price. so too bad, i had to go. went to other mercedes dealer, man the people there were fucked up. who said americans were great? some of them are just so rude. especially the chinese dealer sitting, he clench his fist and said byebye, eew. sickass man. sometimes i think the chinese male here should die. those chinamofos who came to america and think that they are rich with those little cash in their pockets. damn, wished i could just burn him alive. forget it. on our part, evan was being a little rude too, but thats the skills for negotiating price.
never make them think they you need the car, make them think they need to us to buy a car. everytime i wear something that looks like so poor, they think they i cant afford the damn car, or rather they think that i m joking. i ought to wear some burbery or more branded items to flash my superiority. erm not exactly superiority, but both dealers i meant were asians. as you can see, their forefather sailed across the damn pacific ocean and they got to save up more money for their families. agrh. forget it, 2 days later im going to another dealer. i hope he can give me a good price, though the price is already dead good. i hope he can even make it better, like just $500 off ill be glad.
hope the car is not bought by anyone yet, and ill be dead happy. sometimes i wished mum could just give me a little more money to buy a new car, but oh well who am i to complain. 1 month to go before i leave pleasant hill to a new environment. gees.
looking forward to tuesday morning where we can get the damn car. hahahaha so excited, but thats if the car is not sold to anyone yet. eeikes!
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Monday, June 19, 2006
sometimes i wonder what rights do i have to be enjoying life when other people are suffering because of me. near eternal darkness, with shame and pain.
so anyway, tyo left for LA. that @#%$#^#@^@ kid who dresses himself with his most horrible fashion sense, unmatching color and material, worse combination of clothings i ever seen in my life is a student from ucla. goodness. hahaha.
this holiday isnt any special, but its a long long time for me to rest. it seems that i will end up spending it meaninglessly. so im going to go UCSD. the sister school of UCLA. yes yes, one grade belom UCLA. i wonder how did serangoon student go to UCLA. haha nvm tyo, lets see who gets into a better school for masters.
so back to holidays, i have been cooking at home, trying to find cheapfun. which, till now im kinda unable to do that. worse still im on not so good term with one of my friend, well who knows maybe he found out bout my blog? well. nothing much to hide though. sometimes i dont even know what to type on this blog, with so many people reading at times. worse still, i dont know who is reading. i think 'll just nap and blog other time.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Sunday, June 04, 2006
so i finished watching sekai de chuusin and i start to wonder about life and death.
i shall not talk about my LA trip since i think i got nothing much to talk about. i was surfing friendster on the internet, and of course the good thing about surfing friendster it allows you to look at the pictures and also keep an update of your friends. i was kind of bored and started searching for people. i was surprised to find muryadi sutanto, an indonesian friend of mine who was in lee kuo chuan primary school and now hes back in batam because of the financial crisis. sad to say, but that without the financial crisis, i could have been richer by 3 times. i dont know if that theory still stands, but back to my friend muryadi, hes this batam guy and he left in 1997. which means 9 years without contact and finally i saw him on friendster and i went kind of stunt. i also saw other indonesians from moulmein primary school.
im feel kinda regretful not mixing or even try to keep in touch with the indonesians when i was in singapore. if i did, maybe i could have better relations next time in the future when im doing business. on second thought, would i even have the chance to do that? i saw people like nova from my primary school having 900 testimonials in her friendster despite having 500 friends. i wonder if its really that important to be famous in the indonesia circle. the indonesia society works so differently from the singapore society, i saw people like zephan chew and aaron lee on my friendster and i wonder what in the world are they doing in school taking pictures with their girlfriend. their dress code and the way they dress, they look like they will fail in the future. as dumb as it sounds, i just think that way. well.
university results out next week, i wonder if usc will take me in. there are many other factors too, but i think i would end up in ucsd in the end, kinda sad to say but its reality. to look at the brighter side of life, i would have lesser indonesian friends there and make even lesser indonesian friennds. however, its good to take a break, a long long break from the indonesians. im an indonesian just by nationality, but i don't have the economical power like them to spend like them. now im starting to think if going to ucsd is a good choice in the first place. my relationships with friends are kinda screwed up, ( well i feel so cause i dont feel right ). many things are just going through in my mind and i cant jot them out, they are uncountable by hands. i wonder how will my future be like, i got no idea at all how my life would be in 2 years time. san diego, a place with no indonesians. sounds kinda stupid though, mixing with indonesians for the past 1 and a 1/2 year, and now im back to the start again. i would be happy with god could compensate me with some japanese which i think its totally imposible. on top of that, i wouldn't be able to spend or splurge or even support them. worse still meeting someone on who is richer than me, how dumb could life get.
tyo is leaving in a week's time, and there goes one of my best friend to another area. its tiring isn't it to make friends and to lose friends. somewhat some dumb process in life. maybe this summer is really a good time for me to think throughly, i meant a long time for me to have a self-reflection period. when it comes to keeping in touch with friends, i think i kind of sucked at it. so people who are reading my blog, i would want to apologize to you all for not being keeping in touch. i thought i was, but i hardly ever. i seen people who stil communicate or keep in touch since primary school till now, i feel kinda of ashamed of myself for not having the courage to say hi. i see people taking effort to even say a simple hello on friendster to say hi to people who they never even met, or chat and so on.
im amazed and im ashamed of myself. well i ought to be for the results that i have been outputting for the past 1, 1/2 year. im pathetic and i know. well.i always try to wake up to reality, and yet im sinking deeper day by day into fantasy.
watching sekai de chuusin, kinda made me realized a few things in life. people come and go, worse they die and they go to place that humans can never reach them. we keep walking so that we could leave footsteps to prove our existence. summer ends so that leaves could die, winter ends so that leaves would grow. life is simple yet hard to comprehend. i guess im still as naive as ever. i only could ask help from god to save me from the pile of massive mess i made. we would normally call the massive mass, shit.
we will be further and further apart, as we move on with our lives.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Saturday, June 03, 2006
i got lots to grumble about you.
and i decided to grumble it somewhere else and talk about my trip to Los Angeles.
1. i spent a lot of money 2. i shoot real guns and firearms. lots of guns and i meant it, including a real shotgun. 3. i spent a lot of money 4. i went to ucsd 5. i went to usc.
thats about it. what to update, nothing much. im pretty agaited and pissed.